Come... sit...
-gestures to uncomfortable looking primary school chair-
We need to have a talk, a talk about purchases, a talk about spending exorbitant amounts of money on items you don't really need simply because other people want them, or because they will truly fulfill you... a talk about... not becoming me. My name is Mather, and I buy lots of stupid fucking shit. Have you seen my electric Mad Max'esque scooter? No? Well neither have most people because I've used it like 5 times in 3 years. It was the only thing I wanted in the entire world until approximately 8 seconds after I bought it, when that distinction was overtaken by a sudden insatiable desire for a PSVR helmet, which in turn was eclipsed mere hours later by the realization that my life would simply never be complete without a SuperChexx Bubble Hockey arcade machine, which was then surpassed by my unending... well... I think you can see where this is headed. Don't be a dumb fuck like me. It's exhausting, and expensive. And your future wife will be so fucking pissed at you.
Meeting adjourned, please stack your chair in the corner.