WIFE: I've come to terms with the fact that you are going to buy these speakers.
ME:
ME:
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Okay fine, OKAY FINE ED SHEERAN YOU WRITE VERY GOOD POP SONGS I ADMIT IT. But if I hear "Bad Habits" one more time in my Uber rides to work I'm going to swallow a chainsaw.
Me: Look at these new speakers I found, they're TEAK!
Wife:
I'm pretty sure this Uber I'm in is powered by a lawnmower motor. And the shocks are just cinderblocks wrapped in saran wrap. If I die, this is the reason.
A co-worker of my good friend just bought a condo in Brooklyn NY from the guy who wrote the McSweeney's "It's Decorative Gourd Season Motherfuckers" article. I'm fanboying the fuck out.
This is my Woodstock.
Just finished 9 holes of golf with my wife where I almost winged like 2 different sets of people on adjacent holes due to a slice so epic that I was hitting greens 2 fairways over. But I twice hit MY green in two shots and this counts as the greatest 9 holes of golf I've ever played. The soundtrack of the day was frenetic surf rock and it really worked.
I demand to know why completely out of the blue my brain just made jazz hands at me while mysteriously uttering the word "Moommenschanz....".
WTF
Okay so, Dark Side Of The Moon and women's Olympic Indoor Volleyball. It works, I think it's all the slow mo replays. It may also be all the beer. Let's go with a combination of slo mo replays, and beer.
I'm heading to two record stores before I have to go back to my windowless control room until 3 am. QUICK WHAT SHOULD I BUY? CURRENTLY TAKING SUGGESTIONS
no more Olympics... please... make the hurting stop
Okay I know the Bowie Ziggy Mofi from 81 gets some shade from angry old Hoffmanites but holy hell it sounds so good.
Dear 2021, fuck you. You do not come for The Odenkirk.
Olympic show open broadcast tonight was so totally chaotic that myself and 2 other crew members who all quit smoking, went out and bought a pack on our break just so we could stand outside and smoke and be mad for like five minutes. It was necessary.
My brain isn't working anymore this week. Not sure how I'm going to get through the next two nights of broadcasts. I am fried.
Olympic Broadcast Day 3 in the books.
Brain is officially mush.
Thank God there's only...
-checks notes-
13 more days of this.
-walks into lake-
Dog #2 has learned how to get out of our backyard. The only way out of our backyard is to climb over a six foot wooden fence. The dog has learned to climb over the six foot wooden fence.
What the actual fuck.
Olympic Broadcast Day One
2 am, still on air
Only 98 km's to go in road race
Oh god why
I have to go through rapid Covid testing at work every day. Which means we have to wait for fifteen minutes in a little cubical before we can actually enter the studios. I have decided that I very much appreciate the 15 minutes of forced quiet contemplation before entering the studio. I think the 15 minute wait should be mandatory.
Sitting at work waiting to start the Olympics broadcast, they gave me a Tokyo 2020 lanyard with my name and job and picture on it. I'm not sure why but I care a great deal for this lanyard, it's my favorite new thing. I think I have issues...
My morning was going just fine, and then I accidentally discovered that someone just released a cover of "Get What You Give" from the New Radicals, which is top five on my "Most Insipid Songs Ever" list. Day completely ruined. -
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