I'll guess Raincoats - Odyshape from 1981
The clues that lead me here are "drummer is a dude" - after Palmolive left to form the Slits, a rotating door of male post-punk legends recorded the drum parts on this record. Also, this album was reissued in Nov 2019 after being out of print for a while.
I can connect a lot of the lyrical content to the other clues, but not confidently enough to bother typing it out at this point
I've been meaning to pick up this new reissue either way, so this would be a nice excuse to do so.