$15 thrift store receiver update: I found some split speaker wires in my closet and got to actually hook it up to my turntable tonight. Sound does indeed come out of it, but I'd be hard-pressed to call it music lol
Also after it was turned on for a few minutes it began to emit a strong, musty aroma, I can only imagine its previous owner was similarly musty.
Next step: buying Deoxit and lots of it.