A Drunken Thread For When You're A Drunken

Look not for nuthin' but I'm gunna need someone to please put out a reissue of "Elevator" by Titan on vinyl thank you very much. Could one of you please get on that?
 
Mr. Sire
Mobun, NY 80085

I hope this letter finds you well, I sent it post haste upon hearing from you. How's Annabelle?

Sincerestedely,
Clangus

Dearest Clangus,

Your letter reached me at an opportune time. The colors are changing as fall is ushered in. It's at this time that I like to recollect my thoughts of the past fortnights, and it's mostly pleasant. Annabelle still scares me in the night, or perhaps it's just the night terrors I was accustomed to as a child returning in my later years. She really keeps the Mobun residents on their toes. Hope you are well.

Deepest regards,
Sire
 
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Dearest Clangus,

Your letter reached me at an opportune time. The colors are changing as fall is ushered in. It's at this time that I like to recollect my thoughts of the past fortnights, and it's mostly pleasant. Annabelle still scares me in the night, or perhaps it's just the night terrors I was accustomed to as a child returning in my later years. She really keeps the Mobun residents on their toes. Hope you are well.

Deepest regards,
Sire
Unbeknownst Sire,

I'm afraid my dementia has set in and I'm depressingly sorry but, who might you be again? I rather know quite a few Mobun residents but my formalities are a bit off since Annabelle visited. Might she be the same one who gives you terrors? Gosh I sure hope not. Wishing you a peaceful fortnights rest and I to hear from you again.

Inquisitively,
Clangus?
 
Dearest Clangus,

Your letter reached me at an opportune time. The colors are changing as fall is ushered in. It's at this time that I like to recollect my thoughts of the past fortnights, and it's mostly pleasant. Annabelle still scares me in the night, or perhaps it's just the night terrors I was accustomed to as a child returning in my later years. She really keeps the Mobun residents on their toes. Hope you are well.

Deepest regards,
Sire
Dearest Stranger,

It's been years since I've heard from you, surely the carrier pigeons must've found an alternate route by now. Since our last communication, I've been able to learn several languages and am in the process of learning ⠃⠗⠁⠊⠇⠇⠑

P.S. If you couldn't read that last part, it's because it's in Braille. Touch it to activate.

Ciao,
Överste Angus
 
Dearest Orange Julius,

I apologize if this missive reaches you too late. After my last correspondence, Annabelle sliced my ankles with a paring knife and left me for dead. I am alive, but the gangrene has taken my legs, and the shock of the incident has left me weary. I.don't know where Annabelle went, but I hope she won't do harm to others. They installed a post office here this year. It's quaint, but should allow for smoother correspondence. How are things on Mars? It's very bright here all of a sudden. I think the sun is exploding.

Cheers,
SirE
 
From: Julius Caesar,

Mount Vesuvius is beautiful this time of year and the colors really are explosive. Wish you could be here to see it. To respond to your question, Mars is a little shit and treats his mother Juno terribly. Jupiter really needs to get back from his trip to get cigarettes.

Et tu Brute?
Me
 
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From: Julius Caesar,

Mount Vesuvious is beautiful this time of year and the colors really are explosive. Wish you could be here to see it. To respond to your question, Mars is a little shit and treats his mother Juno terribly. Jupiter really needs to get back from his trip to get cigarettes.

Et tu Brute?
Me

親愛なるコロンス、
火星はただの惑星です。あなたはそれを打ち負かし、あなたの人生をより良くすることができます。男があなたを失望させないでください。

愛、
雄親
 
Dear, male, pro,

The servant is independent.

Oh,
コロンス
Dear Colangus,

I relearned English after my hellish bout with gangrene, so that I may say goodbye. The infection has taken too much from me, and I have retired to Albania to seek solace in my last days. I ask as my dying wish that you destroy Annabelle. As we know, she is not human and has insatiable bloodlust. I appreciate the camaraderie over the years. May you survive many more hellish winters and Annabelle.

Regards,
SirE
 
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Sree,

Green Gang is the enemy here, not Annabelle. Please proofread for future errors.

Sincerely,
Annabelle
Clangus
Mr. Colangus,

It's with deepest regrets that I must inform you that Sire has passed, after gangrene ate his beautiful face. He asked in his will that I send you his ashes baked into a pan of Turkish Delight. I sincerely hope it has not melted in transit. Also, I have sent a militia to help you destroy Annabelle as this seems to be something you cannot handle alone. She is a wicked beast, indeed.

Sincerely,
Lady Twee of MoBun, NY
 
Dear Colangus,
I apologize if the latest correspondence from my alleged blood relative Twee has caused you alarm. That was merely Annabelle up to her old tricks again. I have not perished. My gangrene has cleared up and I am brisk and running conpetitively again with my new metal legs. Can't keep an old dog down, as they always say. I hope again that this letter finds you well. On another note, how about that new Big Thief album? I quite like them.

Sincerely,
SirE

p.s. I'd recommend not eating the Turkish Delight that "Lady Twee" sent you. It's probably poison.
 
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