I tend to think of the language thing in the way that I think everyone should be able to say whatever they want free from government censorship. Sadly while in a world of reason we could combat hate speech with good arguments, our world is full of irrational people who cannot be reasoned with, so maybe absolute free speech can't work. But if we, members of the public, want to come for your ass or ignore you because you're offensive then that's the price you pay for it. The real issue is that it has to do with power dynamics. Like Landlords trying to claim that the term is a slur and wanting to freshen it up as "housing providers". They can get bent and I'll call them worse because they have the power. But when a marginalized or dominated group are pushing against the power, I support them and their desires to fight against language that belittles them. I don't support the power pushing against the marginalized to control them. Beyonce is an interesting case because as a Black woman she occupies a space that is historically marginalized, but as a billionaire she is one of the most powerful people alive today. So she should be held accountable. And it's never a clear cut thing. One of my students is confined to a wheelchair and has been since birth. He identifies himself as spastic and has a device implanted that allows him to send electric impulses through his spine to help him sit up when he has episodes (which are pretty constant). I'm not going to use the word even though he uses it, and I'm certainly not going to tell him the word he uses to identify with is offensive, because relative to him I'm in the position of power.
At the end of the day though, language is often a distraction from the real troubles in our world. Who cares if people don't use slurs if they still treat people in a discriminatory way that the use of the slur implies? It might soften the blow of racism, sexism, and ableism, but too often it's a screen bigots hide behind. Thinking, "well I didn't call him a ****** so I clearly wasn't being racist." Using language in a manner that respects the disadvantaged is literally the least we can do but far too many act like it's already a bridge too far. Anyway thanks for coming to my week three lecture in intro to sociology.