DAY 20 – Speaker Hugger
This album is always there when you need it. I’ve been needing it lately. I am perpetually afraid to leave my house, rightfully, at this point because I am worried that I would get sick or be a carrier and make someone else in my house ill. This album is all of the friends that I am not going to see for a long time, and I am grateful that it is here with me.
But if I am being brutally honest, I have hugged the speaker listening to this album before.
This particular copy I bought in 2000, the first Elliott Smith vinyl I ever purchased. He was just one of those musicians that… Well, hugging the speaker would not be an irrational thing to do. The thing is, you wouldn’t know if you were hugging the speaker to get closer to the music or if it was because it felt like he needed you to reach out to him. Although, in hindsight I’m not sure if I came to that realization before he died.
The day after I found out he died, this is the record I put on. I will never forget sitting with my head against the speaker while “say yes“ was playing, then trying desperately to listen to the sound of the room he recorded the song in come through the speakers and hold onto it before it could fade away. And then the feeling of not wanting to get up and lift the needle off of the record for minutes because, the moment I did, then he truly would be gone.
I think I need a hug.