In state / State schools now have a tuition of $36k in many areas. These aren't private schools or ivy league.
In a Twitter thread last year I remember someone saying "I want to so and so school for only $5,200 a semester. I didn't take out loans and worked hard as a bar tender to pay may way through school. You should be able to do it as well." Then someone asked when did you go to school. This person replied in the 90's. They then responded to him with "You do realize tuition at said school is now $38k alone today. That does not include room and board." That person never did continue the thread after being called out on that.
I went to high school in an all white, affluent rural part of the state. My high school had statistics that 96% of graduates went on to a 4 year degree. In high school guidance councilors never discussed whether or not college was the right choice for you, or if you could afford it. It was always about what school was the best fit for you in terms of academics or sports or amenities and social environment. Several of my classmates went to ivy league schools such as Harvard.
My family wasn't affluent, just average. And my parents were divorced. Even so, going to college was never a question. It was an expectation. You had to go on to college for success. We never had any discussions about costs or whether or not we could afford this. The only discussions we had were to get me motivated to apply to more schools. Right those admission essays and study harder and take those SAT's again for a better grade.
When I was accepted, my father went online and applied for financial aid and student loans without even consulting me or involving me in the process. I'm still pissed at him over that. It was like I got my acceptance letter to my first choice school. I accepted and that night my father tells me financial aid is all taken care of. I was like what.
Tuition for me was $13,000 a semester plus room and board. After financial aid and scholarships I had about $14,000 a year in loans for a total of about $55,000 for 4 years of school.
I graduated in 2008, right as the recession hit. My first job ended after 6 months. The small agency I was working for went under.
I moved back in with my mom and step date and was working 2 retail jobs. I couldn't afford to live on my own. Less than a year of this my step father game me an ultimatum to get a job and move about by x date or you will be homeless. He never went to college, and moved out on his own when he was 18. He used that as an example and didn't want adult children living in his house.
I ended up in retail management because no one was hiring in my field and after rent I couldn't afford student loans. So I used up all of my deferment. Which resulted in my student loans ballooning because of interest. They say using deferment is a poor choice. You should never do that. But I didn't have a choice. It was do that, or be homeless. Getting back into my field at the end of the recession ended up with me working at a start up that failed. So I was jobless once again. Took 15 months to get a full time job in my field again / a job that wasn't a low wage service job. The biggest issue was not having enough experience, and when I could get a job I started at entry level. Again in a situation where I couldn't afford both rent and student loans and fell behind. And that's where I am today. Never being able to catch up because my jobs have been in high rent area. And I didn't have the option of living at home with my parents.
Thank you for the story and I know it won't make it any better but you're definitely not alone on this. I know a slew of graduates from the late 2000s and early 2010s with this exact experience: HS pushes every student to college to promote their 95%+ college acceptance rate and 11M in scholarship numbers, parents push their kids to college as they think/know its the best route to success (often because they don't have it), and we as 18 year olds who can't wash our underwear are getting huge loans signed off on so we can have an experience our friends are having
And you're right, the era of the cheap state school is gone myth. Even states with reduced in-state tuition is still a lot of money. UNH is 15.2k per year for in-state courses, excluding fees and room and board...but when you get the full cost baked in, it's still 35k a year for a resident. That's for one school in the state that is a residential state school (they have a non-residential option in the city too). That's it. NH is notorious for not being great with that, but UMASS, state of all the colleges, is also around there. The only real options to keep costs down are to absolutely kill it on need based aid and scholarships, to have parents fronting the cost, or to put together some combination of community college/online courses to build credits and there's a limit to that. They were certainly not options for me in 2006 - I proposed going to our local low-end community college for a year to keep costs down and got the hardest no I've ever gotten from my mother. She may have been right for me personally but that wasn't a reality. We took on the aid and loans, my mom somehow (I don't ask) pieced together enough for the deposit and got on a monthly plan for some of it.
Around the second semester of my senior year my mother lost her job so I then needed to take on an additional loan - I was lucky it was second semester senior year and not longer than that. I also got lucky to get
a job (not a great paying one but a FT job) that helped keep us afloat and parents who let me stay at home forever. I was lucky. I know so many who weren't.
The big issue is that even if we get loan forgiveness...it fixes it in part or whole for us. It doesn't fix it for the next gen who is being given the same song and dance or the severely inflated prices.
But honestly...the deck is severely stacked against millennials and Gen Z at this point and a reckoning will happen in regards to higher ed. It's more a matter of time here. At some point people will see 240k for four years and say "my kid would be better off if I just give them that money and set them off" - get a house, put a huge chunk in savings, get your medical set up, take your time to find your right path. Or, more realistically, more parents will just say "you won't have the money to pay that and neither will we, let's find an alternative".